PUA Tips: Attachment Theory

Attachment Theory:

So yesterday I was reading through some material psychology-related and I ran across an area of study called Attachment Theory.

Attachment theory is basically an area of study for a better understanding of what makes us, as people, become attached. It also tries to explain why we are attached with a certain kind of person to begin with.

According to what I gathered, most of us tend to enter relationships with selected personality types depending on our up-bringing or whether we received the right amount of attention from our parents as babies. Studies over the years have discovered that we now have 4 attachment types and every one of us fall under at least one.

The 4 Attachment Types are:

Secure:

This kind of person develops a healthy out-look on life and can usually be the ideal choice for being in a relationship. This person typically is a reliable friend, as well as lover.

The way someone develops into the secure person, to begin with, is based on obtaining the adequate amount of attention as an infant. They probably got all the rewarding they needed once they did something appropriate, but still their parents gave them the suitable amount of space once they needed to grow or figure out something on their own.

This person is good for someone that is anxious and can help an anxious person become more secure with themselves after some time together. I guess you might say a secure person is a level-headed person everyone is wanting to be with.

However this person can be brought down to an anxious person if they experience some kind of tragic incident; say a death of someone close, etc.

Avoidant:

This type of person usually is the most independent in addition to the 4. This person possibly experienced a lot of neglect when younger; which made them think that they’re better off not counting on people.

This person can be influenced by the secure person and brought to become more trusting; as a result of the happier ‘secure’ character type.

Anxious:

This person is usually a person that received a sporadic amount of attention growing up. Maybe their parents went through a divorce or they had a mentally unstable mom and dad.

Here is someone that will stress you out and personally, I wouldn’t get involved with a woman that needed to call me 5 times daily just to reassure them; which is what you may experience with this type.

Anxious/ Avoidant:

Now they’re the craziest of the bunch; these people usually are very dramatic and can complicate your life in a fashion that will make an individual miserable. They usually are very untrusting in addition to being angry about their life.

This type developed this way, most likely, due to physical and psychological abuse. They had very negligent parents and usually are typically alone most of their life. This is probably for the reason that nobody wants to tolerate them. They can progress but it’ll be much harder than any other attachment type.

So in summary…

If you would like to grow as a man or woman and really get good at connecting with your mate, then you don’t have any other choice but to form relationships. It doesn’t matter if they are an FWB or LTR kind of thing. All that matters is that you’re maintaining some kind of on-going interaction. This really is important for your own mental well-being as well. Plus you’ll become a stronger person, as well as conscious of other people’s battles.

After being in a few serious relationships, I am now capable of reading women a lot better. I can tell when they need a certain amount of attention to brighten up their day. Attention is a powerful thing. I think that once you get to a point where you are getting hot women relatively often, then you see that a lot of women just want a guy that can make them feel good and bring them up emotionally.

For further reading have a look at the Article HERE by Mark Manson that goes into somewhat more detail about Attachment Theory.

And also feel free to look at Mark Manson’s book “Models: Attract women through honesty” by clicking the icon below:

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-PUA Redsky