PUA Tips: 4 stages of comfort

4 stages of comfort:

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Just like in Baseball, I believe there a four key points to focus on up until getting to home plate; or seducing a woman. You should also accompany skills such as playful banter, interesting story-telling and deep meaningful eye-contact. If you have everything up to par, then you will get what you want as long as you focus on these 4 stages of comfort.

#1-Comfort of your Touch:

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The first stage is obviously handholding (3 ways to initiate touch) , although some girls may be opposed to PDA in the beginning; I still think it’s important to get that level of comfort established.

If it’s too difficult for a girl to hold your hand, then she is probably not worth the trouble. There’s nothing wrong with dropping a couple of girls to find one that is more accomodating.

I think a lot of us already know that if you look around enough, you can find a beautiful woman that is into you. On the flip-side you can also find a dog that thinks you are disgusting. So don’t be 100% for every girl; instead, stay 50/50 until you see her investing. If she isn’t going to invest then move on.

I mentioned this in an earlier post, but a good way to get her holding your hand is by meeting her in a crowded area. This way you can just use the crowded area as an excuse so you don’t get separated. If a girl is willing to meet up for the date, then she will most likely allow this; given the situation.

#2-Comfort of your Kiss:

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The kiss is the next battlefield to cross; which should be done in reasonable time as well. You can accompish this feat by starting with kissing them on their hands while walking and smiling after; right before looking away. After that I will pay attention to how they look at me when we are talking a bit later. I like to get closer as we talk. If I’m sitting at a bar I will simply pull the chair they are in closer to me so that our legs are touching and if we’re on a couch I’ll move in closer, as long as I see them highly engaged in whatever we are talking about(Laughing, smiling, acting bubbly, etc.).

#3-Comfort of Isolating:

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This I usually gauge by whether we’ve made out or done something that has shown me that we are clearly attracted to each-other, enough to engage in something more than just conversation. I usually will suggest watching a movie at my place and just chillin. I may even suggest playing my guitar; basically just anything to do as an excuse to get there.

Sometimes they will put up resistance and sometimes they will be completely fine with it. If they put up resistance, then I just tell them I am not expecting anything. I tell them something like I’m tired and just want to relax and cuddle or hangout; whatever you prefer.

#4-Comfort of Intimacy:

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At this point of my ‘Pick-up artist development’ I never have much trouble fooling around with a woman after bringing them back to my place. Usually if I can get them back to my place, I’ll usually at least do something intimate; meaning more than kiss.

They may not always be wanting to have full-out intercourse at first. But if I can show them that I am going to respect their boundaries, while being satisfied with just hanging out, then they almost always will be alright with a full-fledged seduction on the following visit.

I know these 4 stages may seem fairly obvious to some, however, I still think even the most experienced of PUA’s can run into issues if they lose focus on what they are trying to accomplish. This can happen easily if you let yourself get intimidated when on a date with a really hot girl. Sometimes guys can blow it when the girl was equally into a pleasurable experience. This can happen easily and just because a lot of guys don’t have the balls to try to get past these boundaries.

When you are playing it too cool, then women get bored with your lack of assertiveness and end up banging a guy she’s less interested in. Meanwhile you could’ve been him but your lack of balls kept you back. So get used to being assertive with every girl you date, but also get used to falling back if it’s clear she isn’t ready to move further.

I feel that as long as you hold your frame and concentrate on what you are trying to accomplish, without becoming overly pushy or frustrated; then you will eventually make it to the bedroom.

I know every guy wants to bang every woman within the first 1-2 dates, but with some women that just won’t be possible. That’s why it’s good to try to cross these 4 road blocks as quickly as possible to determine the level of interest. If a girl seems like she is being unreasonable then drop her.

I usually give a girl a 2 date limit for the kiss, that is only if I feel like we have a connection. Connection meaning, she’s smiling and eager to talk to me. You can tell this by stopping mid-conversation and paying attention to something else. If she is trying to re-engage you then that’s a good sign she is not intending to waste your time.

In conclusion, keep these milestones in mind whenever you are out next and don’t be afraid to drop a girl if it’s obvious that things aren’t working out for you.

That’s all I got for tonight, hope this will help some of you get past your sticking points and don’t forget to subscribe to the GBTN Newsletter!

-PUA Redsky

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3 Replies to “PUA Tips: 4 stages of comfort

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